A good friend of mine joked when she decided to start wearing a hijab that it made her feel more respected in her community, more of an equal to men, that it meant she didn’t have to waste time worrying about her hair, and in many ways it made her feel more sexy. So perhaps the hijab served to liberate her.
By all means, have a go at OPPRESSION – but NOT at clothing. The point is that women should be free to wear what they want to. Let's not miss that point.
We met on an internet dating site (bigup Guardian Soulmates). I had seen him there the year before and although he lived in France (and was therefore not even a 10% match apparently) I thought I would send him some smart arse quip about whether he was burying women under the patio. He liked it. I was attracted by his profile status. I really was. We exchanged messages, then emails. He found me on Facebook. I Googled him from afar. Then we moved onto instant messages. Then onto skype. Eventually I had the courage to actually plug in the web cam.
When we met it was like nothing I had ever experienced. I fell head over heels – a stranger to my eyes, but one I knew so well. We continued to date, making full use of budget airlines and building up some bad kharma environmentally. He told me about blogging (one of his previous girlfriends was a popular blogger) and I realised a new art form for my written word. Me a sloppy mild dyslexic, him a pedantic spelling maestro we began to put words together down the lines. We kept our love alive when we were apart with written notes and cards, but in the main with email and skype. We shared YouTube clips of our favourite comedians (Eddie Izzard featured very strongly) and music (Kloot and Elbow but definitely not Debbie Harry). Largely thanks to him, I now run an ethical communications business (which he aptly named – imediate.org).
After a year we took it offline. We have downloaded everything, taken a backup and we now live together in England (and sometimes in France). In the summer we plan to get married. We haven’t got much cash during these credit crunch times, so the wedding will be a modest affair – an exchange of vows with our parents and children and two very close friends, a walk by the river in Cambridge, a pub lunch. However, we will invite the whole virtual world to join us as we will be tweeting in celebration of our union. Whether you are a friend, family member or complete stranger you can tune into twitter.com/carolinejaine and twitter.com/jim_clennell on 16 June 2009 at 10:00 UK time and be part of it all - I promise NOT to be too cheesy. My side of the tweets will be tweeted on this page – but what we really need is someone to marry us.
"International Day of Peace is also a Day of Ceasefire – personal or political. Take this opportunity to make peace in your own relationships as well as impact the larger conflicts of our time. Imagine what a whole Day of Ceasefire would mean to humankind."
My summer recess is over and I am back. A warning to those expecting a tight piece of written work from me this evening – I am liable to ramble on a bit as I skip through civil war and onto true love, passing through a Muslim festival en route. Not quite Kerouac, but largely unedited and helped with a large glass on red nonetheless. After prompting a discussion on the Blogcatalg discussion boards about Ramadan, my fellow bloggers have asked me to blog about it. What does Ramadan mean to me, as an uber-nomad who has lived amongst Muslims? Hmmm, with respect and peace be upon you all, I am not a follower of Allah – it doesn’t ring my bells. Those close to me who are, show signs of increased compassion and thoughtfulness, but also fatigue and a quiet distance akin to a hangover. I will point you randomly in the direction of my favourite Muslim blogger, Hanifa.
So in contemplating peace I got to thinking about a country I stopped in for a good three years and got to know better than most – Sri Lanka. I am not about to give my views on the complex civil war that has engulfed the island for over two decades, killing over 70,000 people. OK, well I might hint at it. I won’t take sides though, I can see both arguments – as distorted and distressed as they are. I do refuse to buy into the demonising of the Tamil Tigers thing. Their violent murderous crime is well catalogued, but perhaps what isn’t, is their ability to protect and give order amongst a chaos brought about by an oppressive government (which I witnessed first hand in 2003).
So back to the pigeon. There are no Jain Temples in rural Hertfordshire, but I needed to do something. I asked my blogging friends for advice and was overwhelmed with helpful suggestions. Kat (and her litter box) suggested letting nature take its course (surprised “Kat” didn’t recommend letting the cat back in to finish the job). I spent the night thinking about this. I consider myself part of nature, and frankly I would like to help. To intervene. So I am about to take poor frightened bird to the local vets and I will pay handsomely to repair this creature (unless it is considered, like my Landrover, “a total loss”). Someone else suggested blogging about it – this is probably not quite what you had in mind, but I have at last had a chance to feel like the Jaine that I am.
Article 19: Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.
I wrote this essay for the FT essay writing competition last year. OK, so it wasn’t very well thought out – “to make everyone just a little bit nicer” is so very British and not at all cutting edge. Not surprising I didn’t even get an acknowledgment of receipt. So, prompted by a Blogcatalogue discussion, I share it with you now.
American poet Maya Angelou writes that she takes responsibility for the very air she breathes and the space she takes up. Like Angelou, most people have some sense of responsibility. Maybe we have a subconscious list detailing what falls into our own areas of responsibility and more importantly what our own level of responsibility is. If I could the change anything I would raise the level of responsibility felt by each individual on this planet.
As an example, our own children learning to walk may score a 10 out of 10 on the responsibility-ometer, and an elderly parent needing some support at home maybe an 8. Someone in our community (but not personally known to us) who has suffered a loss may only score a 1 and be seen largely as someone else’s responsibility.
These ratings are personal and have tended to vary according to our own involvement - having a sense of responsibility for local drug addicts leaving syringes in the kids play area, will often depend on whether we have kids ourselves. If it directly affects us, we care. We act.
But we are being asked to change this. As global citizens we can be asked to give to earth quake victims in far flung places, and lobby our MPs on the threat of rising sea levels. Although we might not see the benefit from buying local fruit as opposed to bananas flown in from thousands of miles away, we are beginning to see that our choices have a ripple affect often far beyond our own experience.
On this wider level we are readjusting our sense of responsibility, but this needs to be in effect right across our lives. Everything matters. Over recent decades our species has looked more seriously at issues such as equality, rights, prejudice and the human affect on planet earth. But in tandem with this has been a sense that someone else will take overall responsibility, and as individuals we are not accountable. Perhaps we have become too disconnected with our actions to realise that everything we do, say (and buy) will have an impact on someone (sometimes someone picking bananas on the other side of the planet).
Martin Dickson says in his article that kicked off this competition that he would change the negativity of people towards media and quite persuasively argues that the media are but a mirror on society. However if the media where to tweak the dial on it’s responsibility gauge it would see that just giving the customer what it wants can in some circumstances propagate a wrong.
If our sense of internal responsibility were increased we might dig further into our pockets to give to the homeless, but we would also feed our children well and not blame the TV for promoting unhealthy options. We might buy products with less packaging and not blame local councils for their recycling policies.
And responsibility needn’t be a chore. As Kissinger said, “People think responsibility is hard to bear. It's not. I think that sometimes it is the absence of responsibility that is harder to bear. You have a great feeling of impotence”.
If I could the change anything I would raise the level of responsibility felt by each individual on this planet. What I seek is to up the levels. Raise the stakes. So whilst some will diligently separate their tins from their glass, some will consider carefully the affect their job, actions and even words will have on others. Perhaps a generic raise in responsibility levels wouldn’t bring many of us up to Angelou’s level. But whilst a minor global lift in feeling may not see people sensing the responsibility for the air they breathe and the space they take up, it may help them be better parents, friends, lovers, employees and ultimately happier.
I can quite see why my entry wasn't considered, but there you have it. Let's all be a bit nicer.
Love from a True Brit x
Posts
All Comments
